"Finish this"

Prompts for WEEK 50 — December 17 

Finish This...

Getting older is... not all it's cracked up to be. When I was younger, all I wanted was to grow up; have a real job, live on my own, fall in love, get married and have children. I dreamed of the day prince charming would walk into my life and sweep me off my feet and fall madly in love with me. You know, that intense passionate love that leaves you breathless. Well I did fall in love like that but it was not as I had planned it. It was toxic and when it was over and he was gone it left me with a scar that seems to drag me down from time to time. I am kind of disappointed in the lack of preparation as a kid for this impending adulthood. When you are a child, being adult seems to be the coolest thing in the world. Now that I am an adult, I am envious of the naive sense of imagination and joy I see in little kids. I wish I still had that hopeful spirit that they have. 

Now there are definite perks of being an adult and I'm not trying to be a Debby downer in my post this week but life has been kind of sucky recently.  I have faith that Gods plan for me is bigger than I can see at the moment but right now nothing is going as I had hoped as a kid, as I hoped a week ago, honestly. I was talking to my two best friends last night and if it wasn't for them and my family, I don't think I would be able to maneuver through adulthood. It is reinforced everyday to me that getting older isn't going to easy and it is going to be an imperfect mess. I told a friend last night, that I don't regret a moment but I do wish I could change how certain situations played out.  I wear my heart on my sleeve and it tends to broken more than it is fulfilled. I know that this is just valley and brighter days are on the horizon. So even while I am disappointed and hurt, the little kid left within me is hopeful that the adult I am still becoming will be the one  I was dreaming about not so long ago. 

My best kept secret... is clearly not going to be told in this blog. It would no longer be a secret if I shared it with the world. I haven't really ever been a secret keeper. My personal secrets I shared with my best friends and my sister. Each one of them may hold a different secret but they each know some detail. I'm also a listener and love to make people feel like they are heard, so feel free to share your secret with me :) 

My guilty pleasure...are we talking food, movie or escape?? In that case, I'll give my list of guilty pleasures 

1.) Movie- Hairspray... Seriously that movie is the greatest pick me up movie around for me. Another one is my all time favorite movies... Top Gun and that may be because another guilty pleasure of mine is Tom Cruise. I know, he is kind of weird but I love every movie the man makes and he isn't hard on the eyes either. 
2.) Food- Those damn curly BBQ Fritos 
3.) Going anywhere new and exciting
4.) A man with tattoos 
5.) And this one I thought I would never say... jamming out to T-Swifts new album
6.) A new pair of shoes 

My favorite place in the world... Yarema's Lake. Even though it no longer really exists and isn't my families anymore, it will always be my favorite place. Every memory that I have there is perfect. I have always wanted to get married there and I hope that one day I still can. Throughout my childhood, it was my escape. Where I would go to just be alone and shut the world out. I learned to fish, ride a bike and drive there. No matter the age I am, I think that place will always hold a special place in my heart. It was perfect in the most imperfect way... overgrown grass around the lake and chipping paint. Nothing about it was perfect but to me, it was everything.