Dear someone that I once knew,
Right now you are probably running through fields or playing games with your cousins (who, by the way, will grow up to be so much smarter and more creative than you but its all good because they inspire you) or you are watching a damn fairy tale movie that will give you unrealistic expectations of love and life in general.
Look around and be so grateful for the two people raising you. They are and will continue to be the greatest examples of true love and strength you will ever know. Be grateful for your sister because she is and will continue to be the greatest role model you have. Go to school and be grateful for your friends because, believe it or not, you are still friends with them 10 years later. Go to your aunts on Thanksgiving and be grateful for all those people in that room because they are and will continue to be the best support system you will ever know.
There are things I wish I could have prepared you for. I wish I could have told you that your heart is going to be broken... A LOT! There are people that you will love, that are going to let you down and you will never be able to fully let them go. You will learn in time how to just be without them. It is going to be painful, but those friends you are being grateful for will help you learn to walk again.
There are going to be times that your faith is going to be tested. Don't worry, you will withstand the storm and God will teach you a lesson that you never imagined needing to know. Through it all, God is making you stronger. The important thing is to not forget to love yourself, while loving others. God gave you a big heart so you love those that need and want you, long after they are deserving of your attention and love. But in the midst- do not forget that you are important too. Do the best you can and don't take life too seriously. Your heart is going to be hurt and you are going to beat yourself up for allowing someone to have any ounce of control over your feelings. Your'e going to beat yourself up more times than you would like to admit but learn that it isn't you that hurt you. They were either not right for you or they hurt you to prepare you for something more or to give you thicker skin.
For a long portion of your life, you are just going to be confused. This is not because you are stupid, this is because you desire to understand everyone and everything you encounter. Face the reality- people do not make sense. Not everyone is going to be authentic or genuine with you and that is not your fault. You are going to have a long portion of your life where you have zero regrets and you think that makes you feel empowered because you are living life to the fullest and making memories. Trust me, your'e going to hit a roadblock and the regret sinks in like a bad case of the flu. Its not that you wish you could undo anything because in every memory, you knew what you were getting into and isn't that memory you wish was gone, it was moments in the the memory you wish you could change or simply forget forever. But those regrets are the very things that are shaping your destiny.
Right now you are probably playing Mario Cart with Tyler and Aaron or working on a school project with Courtney, which trust me, it isn't the end of the world if it sucks or you are simply daydreaming of tomorrow.
Get ready to change, for everything to change. Yes, there are things that remain the same to this day and will probably continue to remain the same but so much will change so fast and sometimes it takes years for you to feel the effects of the change. There is going to be this one person that is going to walk into your life and literally change everything and you have no idea it is happening until that person walks out of your life. The strangest thing of all is that you will never for one second regret knowing this person. Because the thing is-love doesn't knock on your door often, but when it does you have to let it in... no matter how short of a time period that it stays. Trust me, there are a handful of people that you will look back on and say, "God, I could have done without ever knowing [blanks] name." And believe it or not there will come a time that you make decision that you will attempt to change who you are but its okay because you see the fault in it and it steers back to where you need to be.
Be open to life and embrace the experiences, even the ones you are going to regret.You are going to fall on your ass more times that you want to admit. You are going lose your spirit and be broken more times than you think is acceptable. You are going to be stronger because of every set back because in they weren't holding you back but pushing you forward.
Sincerely,
Someone I don't fully know yet
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