Flight times

I have always been fascinated by airplanes. Watching them take off, is an under appreciated beauty of modern day.

Sitting in the Raleigh/Durham airport, after a weekend spent with good friends. I reminisce about the last time I left this airport.

Going through security is always stressful but as I was waiting in line, I got a phone call that made it a breeze. I was in Raleigh at that time visiting, what is now my ex- boyfriend ( just for the record that word leaves a sick taste in my month, so I'm not going to use it again.)

Anyways, he called to say that I shouldn't waste my time getting my bag checked, but little did he know I already had.

The sweet thing was he didn't really call about the bag, he just wanted to make sure I was ok. I got through security that time and sat in the airport bathroom for forty minutes crying because I didn't know when the next time was that I was going to see him.

It's amazing how things have changed in a year! Instead of crying over saying goodbye I sit here now, crying because we didn't say hello this weekend to each other.

I guess its the beautiful mystique of an airport, all the hustle and bustle and confusion, hellos and goodbyes, it's a lot to take in. But, thats what the past year has been for me: a lot to take in.

My life has been like an airport this past year; a lot hustle and bustle and crazy schedules and time balancing. A lot of confusion over how someone could say they loved you one day and break your heart the next. Some hellos as I have made new friend along the journey. And a lot of goodbyes, that I hope will be see you soons.

Because for me, goodbye is not in my vocabulary. For it is never goodbye. It's just separation for a short time.

Even though I know that not seeing him, shouldn't have disappointed me, it did. Much like all the other things in life that weigh us down for no reason.

But, we aren't grounded in these valleys forever. With faith, grace and forgiveness, we can fly by Gods flight time. Though my heart is heavy now, God will soon allow me to soar.

I forgave my ex-boyfriend along time ago for hurting me. But, that doesn't mean my emotions are just going to end, like I hoped they would. If anything they seem to get worse with every passing moment. It's a phenomenon, just like watching airplanes take flight. It's something I will never understand until I get to heavens gates.

The uncertainty of tomorrow is perfectly imperfect to me. It's challenging and exciting and scary.

But, that doesn't mean I have to stop following what my heart tells me today. I don't expect anyone to understand my feelings, for that is only something that I and God will understand. I don't know the destination God has for me on this flight, all I know is that no matter what the flight delay I will remain faithful to Gods will and Gods detour.

The groundings, delays and flights are all perfectly imperfect moments that God uses to reveal to us the things that we love most, the things we need to change and the things we need to hold on to. For there is no time, like the present.